MW I'm the executor of my mother's will. She left $160K in a secret savings account. Should I tell my siblings?
By Quentin Fottrell
'I fully intend to combine all monies and disperse to my siblings equally, but only after I am 100% sure that no money is owed by her estate'
Dear Quentin,
My mother passed away about 6 months ago.
She had carefully planned her estate so that there would be no surprises. She had even prepaid all funeral expenses. I have power of attorney for her estate. She had 2 IRAs that were dispersed equally between myself and 3 siblings by the investment firm holding them soon after she died. They were worth about $60,000 each.
She has $10,000 in a checking account that we held jointly so I could write checks on her behalf if needed. When reviewing her bank statements recently, I noticed that she had squirreled away about $160,000 in a savings account.
I fully intend to combine all monies and disperse to my siblings equally, but only after I am 100% sure that no money is owed by her estate. I am still dealing with her credit card and cell phone provider. (Charges continue to accrue even after providing necessary paperwork to close the accounts. They were both paid in full).
Is it wrong of me to wait to disclose this to them? I feel I need another month or so. I don't want to be pressured into an ASAP situation. I have done more than my fair share. Also, can bank checks be sent to each of them via FedEx safely?
The Executor
Related: 'I'm absolutely terrible at managing money': I'm 35 with zero savings and $8,000 debt. How do I turn my life around?
Dear Executor,
Being an executor is a big job, and a responsible one. You can be held liable for any egregious errors made in the process, so you clearly wish to focus on the job at hand, but I recommend telling them in a timely manner, especially if they ask you how things are going. You will probably feel less pressure by not holding things back, even if your siblings have been giving you a hard time about getting your mother's affairs wrapped up.
One way to answer that is to look at your legal obligations as a fiduciary - that is, someone acting in the best interest of the beneficiaries of your mother's estate. Your hands are already tied: You can't legally distribute funds until all debts are paid, so they are powerless to influence what happens to the money in your mother's estate unless they (for some reason) challenge your position as executor.
A second way to answer it is to ask yourself another question: You already know why you are not telling them, so why should you tell them? There are many reasons to disclose this $160,000 savings account: for transparency, to dispel the kind of suspicion that perhaps led you to write this letter, and the duty you hold to keep your siblings, the beneficiaries, informed of the probate process and what funds may be available to be split when the time comes.
It's best to proceed without fear or favor, or any concerns as to how your siblings might react to this news.
A third way to look at this dilemma is to switch roles. Imagine one of your siblings was the executor. How would you feel if they presented a final accounting and, to your surprise, a $160,000 savings account appeared. You might wonder or ask, "Why didn't you mention this when we spoke last month?" It's best to err on the side of caution or, in this case, disclosure. Your duty is to the beneficiaries, in addition to managing your own anxiety.
"Even if the beneficiaries waive the accounting disclosure requirement, you will likely still have to produce an accounting of the state with the probate court," says the Glenn & West law firm, which has offices in Nokomis and Litchfield, Ill. "In addition, it may be necessary to help you pay any taxes the estate owes. Remember, an experienced probate and estate administration lawyer can help guide you if you're unfamiliar with estate accounting processes."
This will help avoid any surprises, good or bad, when the final and full accounting of your mother's estate takes place. In Illinois, for example, "the executor must also be able to produce complete estate accounting to any legitimate interested party or person," the law firm adds. "Beneficiaries have a vested interest in the executor's activities - every transaction the estate administrator makes affects their inheritance." That includes debts and all financial accounts.
It's best to proceed without fear or favor, or any concerns as to how your siblings might react to this news. In addition to acting impartially, without favor, and with prudence, you also have a duty of confidentiality - that is, a duty not to disclose details of the estate to others who are not beneficiaries or interested parties. That should not be confused with your legal and ethical obligation to be transparent with the affairs of your mother's estate.
Your siblings are powerless to influence you unless they challenge your position as executor.
You can send checks via FedEx $(FDX)$ or UPS $(UPS)$. "Money - coins, cash, currency paper money and negotiable instruments equivalent to cash such as endorsed stocks, bonds and cash letters - cannot be carried by FedEx," the company says. And if you use the U.S. Postal Service, hand the check to your local post office rather than putting it in a mailbox and send it via registered mail, the most secure form of mail, but I don't advise doing so.
After all the time and effort you have put into your duties, it would be a shame to cause yourself unnecessary trouble by sending money to your siblings with such an insecure form of payment instead of, say, direct debit. "A criminal can also easily alter a real check, and your bank will cash that too," according to the National Cybersecurity Center. Mail carrier robberies have increased in recent years and, aside from cash, checks and account numbers are the holy grail for thieves.
"Since checks can take days to clear, it may be some time before you realize you've been targeted," the National Cybersecurity Center adds. "Every check you write and send has your account number on it - one can easily go awry or can be sold to a bad actor. Perhaps the most prevalent disclosure of check information arises from the dramatic rise in theft of mail from the U.S. Postal Service." That's why more people are relying on online payments.
I hope you bring your duties as executor to a close smoothly.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.
More columns from Quentin Fottrell:
I met a friend for lunch. When the check arrived, she said, 'Thank you so much for paying!' Was I taken for a fool?
'She has been telling him lies': My sister convinced my father to sign everything over to her. What can I do?
My father died, leaving everything to my 90-year-old stepmother. Do I have a right to ask her if I'm in her will?
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-Quentin Fottrell
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March 30, 2025 18:34 ET (22:34 GMT)
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