The maid of honor won't put expenses on her credit card for the bachelorette party. As a bridesmaid, should I be offering?

MW The maid of honor won't put expenses on her credit card for the bachelorette party. As a bridesmaid, should I be offering?

By Aditi Shrikant

'I still haven't been reimbursed for the cabin deposit I paid for the wedding weekend'

"The maid of honor hinted that she was looking into it, but nothing has been confirmed."

Dear Dollar Signs,

I'm planning a bachelorette party in New York City in April for eight girls, and I'm annoyed because no one has offered to put their card down for anything. I still haven't been reimbursed for the cabin deposit I paid for the wedding weekend, so I don't want to carry both expenses on my card. I'm not even the maid of honor.

I was sending Airbnb $(ABNB)$ options, and everyone said they preferred a hotel. The maid of honor hinted that she was looking into it, but nothing has been confirmed. Whenever I text the group, I get critiques. The maid of honor kept saying hotels would be cheaper, then complained that tickets to the play "Oh, Mary!" - which are $100-$150 - weren't "cheap."

If someone prefers something different, they should take the lead on figuring it out. I'm not going to send a million options. I genuinely don't care whether we stay in a hotel, but everyone seems to have more opinions than I do, so I think they should make the decision. It's happening in two months, and we still haven't booked accommodations.

How much should I actually be helping plan a bachelorette party when I'm a bridesmaid - not the maid of honor?

Bitter Bridesmaid

If you're just starting out on your money or career journey and have questions about how to navigate your finances, we want to hear from you. Write to Dollar Signs, MarketWatch's new advice column, at dollarsigns@marketwatch.com.

Dear Bridesmaid,

Group trips are tough. Group trips tied to nuptials are even tougher, as no one wants to be the person who can't afford to celebrate a notable milestone in their friend's life.

Add to that the fact that New York City is overwhelming and expensive. The average price of a hotel room in April is $461, according to Kayak, and the average price of an Airbnb (ABNB) at that time is $203, according to Airbnb analytics site Airroi.

Organizing a visit for eight girls is especially daunting, particularly when they are on different budgets, which seems to be the case here.

As a group, you are experiencing decision paralysis -the inability to choose when presented with too many options. You're right to be frustrated that you seem to be putting in more effort than the maid of honor, and that effort is met with hostility instead of gratitude.

While you want to go with the flow, it seems like you don't trust the maid of honor to finalize the trip details. I'm not going to tell you to fight your Type A nature, but I do think you can free yourself from the bulk of the planning by being more communicative about what you'd like to see happen.

What should be made clear: Not all expensive activities are mandatory and deposits will be reimbursed.

Tell the group that you've been sending options, and the fact that everyone hasn't decided on one makes you nervous. Address the maid of honor directly and let her know you'd love to have some details finalized by a specific deadline. What should be made clear to everyone: Not all expensive activities are mandatory and people will be reimbursed for putting down a deposit.

This may sound bossy, but in the absence of clear communication, we tend to overanalyze, says Sara Jane Ho, an etiquette expert and host of the Netflix show "Mind Your Manners."

"Whether it's a relationship or a friendship, so many people are afraid of being clear, and that's where all the miscommunication comes from - when we start overthinking," she says. "The more you're in your head, the more anxiety you create."

Navigating money and friendships

There is so much secrecy around money in our everyday lives - and vacations are not immune to that norm.

Most people don't socialize outside their socioeconomic class, says Emily Bianchi, a professor at Emory University's Goizueta Business School. Bianchi studies how economic conditions in early adulthood affect behavior.

"In most contexts, people are pretty homogeneous," she says. "They tend to live in neighborhoods and work with people from the same socioeconomic background."

This makes group trips with people of disparate incomes "a breeding ground for misunderstanding and hurt feelings," she adds.

Be upfront about how much you're willing to spend, and encourage others to do the same.

While $461 is a lot for a hotel room - and you'll likely need to get two - perhaps your friends would be fine with less ritzy accommodations. A two-star hotel is, on average, $153, according to Kayak. Airbnbs, per night, are less expensive, but New York City is not known for its space. Even the roomiest home might be a tight squeeze.

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge, strolling in Central Park or visiting The Whitney Museum on a Friday night are all free.

When it comes to entertainment, meet people where they are. If "Oh, Mary!" is out of someone's price range, do something more cost-effective or make seeing the play optional. Walking the Brooklyn Bridge, strolling in Central Park or visiting The Whitney Museum on a Friday night are all free. One of the best things about New York City is that you can absorb a decent amount of culture - and get some cute pictures - without spending a ton of money.

There is no single "right" course of action here, but all options should be discussed - perhaps more candidly than your friend group is accustomed to. The more details, financial or otherwise, you iron out before the trip, the more you'll be able to enjoy what sounds like an amazing few days.

I'll leave you with a reminder I often repeat to myself before a group trip: these are your friends! You're celebrating an incredible moment in someone's life. Take a deep breath and remember to have some fun.

Write to Dollar Signs at dollarsigns@marketwatch.com.

-Aditi Shrikant

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January 29, 2026 10:36 ET (15:36 GMT)

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