'I raised my children there as a single mother, and it was the last home my son lived in before he passed away unexpectedly'
"My old house has a pool and a larger yard; my best friend lives five houses away; and it simply feels like home. " (Photo subject is a model.)
Dear Quentin,
I'm looking for a fresh perspective.
Two years ago, I moved out of the home I had lived in for 15 years and rented it out. My tenants are moving out at the end of July, and I'm trying to decide whether to find new tenants, sell the property - or move back in myself.
I live in a newer home that I purchased last September. There's nothing wrong with it, but I miss my former home. My old house has a pool and a larger yard; my best friend lives five houses away; and it simply feels like home.
The mortgage on my former home is $250,000 at 3.25%, compared with $499,000 at 5.75% on my current home. I have about $360,000 in equity in the former home, and I'm deeply attached to it.
I raised my children there as a single mother, and it was the last home my son lived in before he passed away unexpectedly. Part of me wonders whether selling my current home and moving back would be the right decision.
Another part of me wonders whether I should sell the former home while I still qualify for the $250,000 capital-gains exclusion and avoid future expenses such as a roof or HVAC replacement.
Am I letting nostalgia cloud my judgment, or would moving back into a home I love with a lower mortgage and interest rate be the smarter choice? I'd appreciate hearing how others would think through this decision.
Mother and Homeowner
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You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com.
By emailing your questions to the Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on the Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.
You are now living in your new normal, and your priorities have shifted.
Dear Mother,
Sometimes, it's worth throwing money at a problem to follow our heart. This may be one of those times. You know this is an emotional decision rather than a purely financial one, and you are essentially asking, "What is the price of happiness?" It may be $40,000 to sell and move, but you will earn that back in good time.
You have been through a huge life change, with the death of your son, and you are probably more traumatized by that than you realize. You are now living in your new normal, and your priorities have shifted. What once seemed exciting and new - this new house, namely - has lost its luster.
Understandably, you yearn for those familiar sights and faces, and the comfort of your former home. You know this is primarily an emotional decision because moving so soon will cost you lawyer's fees, taxes and other costs, unless you manage to cover them with an increase in price since you purchased this house in September.
But you will also save a chunk of money on your existing mortgage by simplifying your life and you will probably break even on those costs in a year or two. Without knowing your exact figures, let's assume that your current mortgage, including taxes, is $4,000 a month.
You should expect to pay 8% of the sale price ($40,000) in attorney fees, realtor commissions, title fees, closing costs, etc. You will have saved enough on those mortgage payments to break faster than you think. In fact, it would be close to a wash this time next year - not accounting for the $1,000 or so you would be paying on your old house.
And now a caveat: When you consult a real-estate agent, and do the numbers, you will have a better idea of how much you will get for the home you bought in September. Generally, realtors say to hold onto a house for five years before selling it, as you will likely not have made enough money on the property to offset the expense of selling.
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Sobering numbers
The realtor will give you hard numbers. And they will be sobering. They will either be enough for you to follow your heart and go home now, or take a breath and decide that you are strong enough, with the support of your friends and family - and perhaps therapy to help you deal with the loss of your son - to stay put for a while longer.
A member of the Moneyist Facebook Group (META)has been through what you have been through. "For me, it isn't about math," she wrote. "I, too, lost my son - my only child, at age 16 - last September, and I am bereft. I am in counseling, and one thing I hear repeatedly is that losing a child is a different kind of grief. We never stop grieving; instead, we learn to live with the pain."
"I will never move out of our home," she added. "My son loved it. He helped us renovate it, and we always thought it would be his one day. So, with some understanding of what leaving the family home would have meant, my advice is simple: go home. Redecorate, make any necessary repairs, and, most importantly, start living again."
"Being back in the family home can provide a strong foundation as you move forward with your life," she added. "Life is not about big houses, pools or shopping. It's not about where your friends live. It's about family and health. You have been through tremendous strain and stress with all of these moves, so give yourself some grace."
That reader can probably provide you with more meaningful advice than I can, but it tallies with my instinct: There comes a time when you need to live life on your own terms, especially if you have been forced into living life on life's terms with the death of a child. The math won't be the only decider, but it will give you more clarity on the timing.
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Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where members help answer life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:
I'm 73 and live in a mobile home in Florida. Do I ditch my $2,400 home insurance?
'I am stuck in a low-income trap': I'm a teacher and very good at my job. Will I ever earn six figures?
'He has been emotionally abusive': My father, 75, is on oxygen and destitute. What do I owe him?
'She's a smoker': My mother, 55, has no car and no job. Should I buy her life insurance?
By emailing your questions to the Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on the Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.
-Quentin Fottrell
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June 27, 2026 11:00 ET (15:00 GMT)
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