$Tesla Motors(TSLA)$ 🚀⚡🤖 Tesla’s Reckoning: Circuitry, Sand, and Humanoid Dreams 🤖⚡🚀

I’m not just riding Tesla’s wave, I’m infested with it, like it’s rewired my brain’s circuitry. Short sellers, I see you twitching out there, but the sell button’s a ghost town. Tuck yourselves back into hibernation, this train’s not braking. $TSLA had that old-school swagger today, remember when you’d flick it on a Friday and it’d waltz through Monday like it owned time itself? $280’s a memory now, and $289.10’s the next spark on the horizon 🔥💥💥💥

Cathie Wood’s painting a decade-end masterpiece, $TSLA 10Xing past $8 trillion, robotaxis steering the charge. She’s not even factoring in Optimus yet, makes you wonder what kind of nitro that humanoid’s packing. Flashback to 2019, she saw $4,180 pre-split when most were still squinting at the fine print. Now she’s calling $2,600 by 2030, $39K pre-split if you’re doing the maths. Her batting average isn’t perfect, but on Tesla? She’s threading needles with a sniper’s eye.

The Financial Times, though… OOFFF. They fumbled that “$1.4 billion missing” story so hard an expert had to babysit them through the numbers. Now they’re mumbling apologies, “Guess we trust the auditors after all.” Meanwhile, $TSLA’s options are electric, 1300x on the 300 calls for April 11, 1100x on the 295s. The board’s lighting up. Saudi Arabia’s next, April 10, Tesla’s planting its flag in the sand. And this week? Optimus steps onto Capitol Hill, probably flexing circuits while lawmakers gawk.

I’m just here, sipping my coffee ☕️, wondering if I’m trading a stock or living in Elon’s fever dream. Either way, I’m strapped in!

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